Millions fear ‘end times’ around corner over virus panic and Hillary Clinton’s 2020 return

NEW YORK — As CDC officials warned of a possible coronavirus outbreak in the U.S. and Michael Bloomberg announced he would name Hillary Clinton his running mate, millions of Americans took to the streets in fear of the Biblical “end times.”

“I knew this day would come, I just knew it!” New Yorker Fran Bitzler, 57, said as she gazed skyward searching for new signs. “The virus was bad enough, but after hearing Hillary was going to be involved in another Democratic presidential primary, I was convinced: The End is Near!”

Elsewhere around the country, millions more Americans made a similar observation.

“I was convinced a long time ago that Hillary would be the end of all of us,” Nigel Broadmoor, 80, of Littleton, Colo., said. “Don’t matter what party you vote for, end times is bipartisan and its comin’ to all of us, regardless of your political preference.”

Asked of her concerns about the coronavirus, Dr. Sarah Tooley Ph.D., of Bangor, Maine, said its spread should be the least of Americans’ concerns.

“Yeah, by itself, it’s worrisome enough,” Tooley, 32, a religious scholar, said. “But when we see pandemics like that paired with Hillary getting back into another political race, we can draw no other conclusion: Time to make peace with your Maker.”

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