Sanders vows to get facial surgery to remove permanent scowl if he wins presidency

COLUMBIA, S.C. — Understanding that he’ll have to put on a positive disposition much more often as leader of the free world, Sen. Bernie Sanders vowed to have facial surgery in the fall to remove the permanent scowl on his face should he defeat President Trump.

“Yeah, I know, it’s a problem we’ve talked about,” Sanders said as he campaigned here ahead of the Super Tuesday elections.

“I just scared a little baby I was trying to hug, and I can’t be doing that, uh, you know, as president,” the Vermonter said.

Campaign chief Daniel Howard told reporters that staffers have discussed Sanders’ permanent scowl with the candidate, and he’s expressed a desire to have the problem fixed should he win. He added that Sanders has already consulted with a scowl specialist at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota and the procedure is historically successful.

“You know, when Hillary Clinton said recently that ‘nobody likes Bernie,’ that really got him to thinking,” Howard said. “He sorely wants to be liked. That’s one of his goals, and he knows he can’t do that if he looked pissed off all the time.”

But — what if Sanders loses?

“Well, then the scowl stays,” Howard said. “He’d have no incentive to get it fixed then.”

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