AREA 51, Nev. — In a startling announcement from the country’s most secretive lab, President Trump announced he would be replacing Vice President Mike Pence ahead of the 2020 election with a clone, so he can ensure that he will rule America forever.
“I am the most popular president ever, that I can tell you,” the president told reporters as he stood at the podium in a hospital gown. “And I know that Americans will want me to be president forever, that’s how popular I am.”
Trump praised researchers at the top secret facility, calling them “wonderful people who really, really know what they’re doing, unlike some people in the Democrat Party.”
Asked about how the vice president took the news, Trump said he “completely understands that he could never be the president I am, so he has gladly agreed to step aside.”
“Mike is amazing, I can tell you that. Amazing. Not every vice president would do that, even for a great guy like me,” the president said.
Asked about the constitutionality of serving for life, Trump said technically the drones “are not me so hey, no term limits. Pretty awesome, isn’t it?”
Trump then patted himself on the back for being “the only guy smart enough to figure this out.”
“You don’t see clones of Obama in the White House, do you? No, I didn’t think so,” said the president.