NORFOLK, Neb. — A local resident says he managed to reduce his smoking by half after a surgeon removed one of his lungs, saying he’ll never again consume that much nicotine.
“I tried lots of methods to cut down on my smoking and nicotine intake, but none of ’em worked,” Clarence Bottoms wheezed. “Chewed the gun, put the patches on, took the pills. Nothin’.
“But when my doctor said I could dramatically reduce my smoking and nicotine intake with immediate results by taking out a lung, I jumped at that,” Bottoms continued. “It’s not everyday you get a second chance, ya know?”
Bottoms acknowledged that his method isn’t for everyone, but he also said it’s “100 percent guaranteed to cut your smoking in half.”
“I tell ya, I feel better already, and it’s only been a few days. I feel like I have my life back,” he said, as he reached for a Marlboro Light. “It’s almost like I’m starting all over again. Amazing.”
Dr. Leon McCubbin, the surgeon, said that Bottoms’ prognosis looks good.
“It’ll take some getting used to, but I believe he’s going to see a big difference in his lifestyle,” McCubbin said. “Cutting your nicotine intake by that much can only be a good thing, that’s what I always say.”