BRONX, N.Y. — Fed up with waiting for the Trump administration to come up with a plan to combat the dreaded coronavirus, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) developed one on her own using string and an anti-virus CD.
“Like, I don’t know why nobody else thought of this. It’s, like, so obvious even I figured it out,” AOC told reporters. “I was just sitting around in my apartment and stuff getting ready for my next live Instagram broadcast, I looked down next to my computer, saw the anti-virus CD, and was like, ‘Ohmigod! That’s it!'”
Asked how the device actually takes COVID-19 out of the air and prevents it from infiltrating our bodies, AOC grew huffy.
“What kind of question is, like, that question? Are you stoopit? Can’t you see? It says ‘anti-virus’ on the CD! I don’t know how much clearer I can make this for you,” she fumed before trailing off into what sounded like insults in Spanish.
“And people say I’m the dumb one!” AOC continued.
The freshman lawmaker said she will head back to Washington, D.C. immediately to pass along her breakthrough invention to Trump officials following her Instagram announcement of her device because “the people, like, they need to know there is now hope for them!”