WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump signed an emergency order instructing the Army Corps of Engineers to build a wall around House Speaker Nancy Pelosi during the coronavirus outbreak so she will stop pretending she’s the president.
“Nancy Pelosi, horrible, just horrible what she’s trying to do,” the president said after Pelosi tried to book a nationwide address on all the major TV networks to tell the country how we’re going to handle the pandemic.
“She thinks she’s president or something, that I can tell you,” Trump said. “She’s not the president. She’s not the president. I am the president, and I’m a much better one than she’ll ever make, let me just tell you.
The order for the wall took effect immediately. Lt. Col. Dan Svenson, the Corps spokesman, said it would be built within 24 hours, thereby limiting Pelosi’s ability to pretend that she’s anything other than the third in line for the presidency.
Vice President Mike Pence was also said to be in favor of the wall since it has become obvious that’s the only way to keep the Speaker in her place.
“When I was served in the House with Speaker Pelosi, I always suspected she had delusions of grandeur,” the VP said. “This sad episode at a moment when our country is in crisis just proved it. We need a wall.”