Crime

Goat found wandering along New York highway arrested, cited for not wearing a mask

BROOKLYN — A goat seen by a motorist wandering unaccompanied near a highway and reported to the NYPD was picked up by cops and cited for its refusal to wear a mask, per the state mandate.

And while animal rights groups decried the ticket, authorities were adamant that COVID-19 pandemic rules must be followed without exception in order to reduce the disease’s spread.

“Yo’, the rules are what they are, we didn’t make ’em, we just enforce ’em,” NYPD spokesman Lt. Nick Sebellius told reporters.

“But really, when youse think about it, it’s pretty smart to make everyone where masks, even animals. We don’t know all there is to know about dis virus, so really, we can’t say with any certainty that animals — goats in particular — aren’t helping to spread it,” Sebellius continued.

“So while it may seem like we’ve gone overboard here, I think the bigger picture and focus ought to be deferring to the public’s safety. We may discover in a few months or so that goats were most responsible for COVID.”

After posting the goat’s bond, animal rights activists gave the animal a mask and took it to the Animal Care Centers of NYC, which will attempt to contact the owner, who will also be cited for releasing a goat without a mask or a license.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: