WASHINGTON—In a narrowly decided ruling Tuesday, the U.S. Supreme Court ordered President Donald Trump to allow Federal Reserve Governor Lisa Cook to remain in her position until she “at least demonstrates a basic grasp of how interest rates function.”
The 5–4 decision, written by Chief Justice John Roberts, conceded that Cook “does not currently appear to understand the relationship between rates and inflation” but argued that removing her before she “locates a Wikipedia page on the subject” would be “premature and unfair.”
“While it is true that Governor Cook recently described the federal funds rate as ‘a vibes-based suggestion’ and claimed Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell keeps it in a desk drawer, the Court finds it constitutionally necessary to give her more time to learn,” Roberts wrote.
Dissenting justices were less forgiving. “Keeping her on the Fed board while she thinks ‘prime rate’ is a kind of beef is reckless,” Justice Clarence Thomas wrote, adding that “competence is not optional when you control the economy of the free world.”
Sources inside the central bank reported that Cook has been spotted studying flashcards labeled “Loan Good, Inflation Bad,” and once asked an aide whether lowering rates would make eggs cheaper or just “angrier.”
Trump, visibly frustrated, responded to the decision by telling reporters, “The Supreme Court just told me I have to babysit. She doesn’t know interest from Pinterest, but we’re stuck with her.”
