San Francisco bans indoor plumbing in ‘fairness’ and ‘equality’ nod to homeless
SAN FRANCISCO — Mayor London Breed signed a measure this week that was unanimously passed by the city council making it illegal to relieve…
Government
EPA to order mandatory Bean-O for all chili cook-offs following series of flatulence attacks
OKLAHOMA CITY — The EPA is set to issue sweeping new regulations aimed at curbing unwanted flatulence attacks at popular chili cook-offs as incidents…
Interior Dept. appeases Native Americans with pledge to build monument to honor ‘casino culture’
RAPID CITY, S.D. — After years of legal battles, the U.S. Department of Interior has announced it will not appeal a federal court decision…
Air Force whistleblower says aliens who crashed at Roswell were ‘drunk’ and on an ‘intergalactic bender’
SHELBY, Mont. — A former Air Force research scientist-turned-whistleblower who was involved in UFO research in the 1980s is blowing the lid off what…
Trump angers Democrats again after waking up alive
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump on Monday sent Democrats into orbit again by actually waking up alive. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) told reporters…
Illinois governor signs legislation funding border wall to keep residents from fleeing Illinois
SPRINGFIELD — In an attempt to stop residents from fleeing his scandal-ridden, broke state, Illinois Gov. J. B. Pritzker signed a bill Friday authorizing…
U.S. ranked easiest country to break into, scoring higher than China, Cuba, Venezuela
NEW YORK York — A new global survey found that the U.S. is the easiest nation on earth to break into, and much more…
U.S. Forest Service to begin teaching recruits how to see forest for the trees
WHITE RIVER NATIONAL FOREST, Colo. — Officials with the U.S. Forest Service announced Monday they will begin a new awareness program whereby agent recruits…
Democrats demand Trump administration stop separating immigrant baby seals from their parents by putting them in cages
BETHANY BEACH, DEL. — Democrats and animal rights activists were outraged to discover the Trump administration is allowing federal officials to actually separate immigrant…