CAPE CANAVERAL, FLA — Expressing her ongoing concern that the planet continues to warm to unsustainable temperatures due to human activity, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez proposed a new plan to lower global temperatures while on tour at the nation’s space launch facility.
“I’ve been, like, really giving this a lot of thought,” the New York Democratic socialist began, “and I totally think it’s doable. We could, like, put some really big air conditioners in space, all around the planet, and that would finally do the trick.”
AOC said her idea is nothing special and she voiced some surprise that other, much smarter, people had not yet thought of the idea.
“I mean, like, Trump had to have his new Space Force, right? Right?” she continued. “So, like, let’s do something really, really good with it. Let’s put these giant air conditioners in space right away, because we’ve only got a few years left before, like, the planet burns up and stuff.”
The freshman New York lawmaker noted further that temperatures can actually be controlled on air conditioners, so “we could, like, make the temperature whatever we wanted it to be. We could adjust it depending on our needs at the moment and those of other, poor nations like the ones we have been exploiting for decades because American is so racist and stuff.”
Asked if she was concerned about being ridiculed for her idea, AOC simply shrugged and said, “Meh, I’m used to it.”