Elizabeth Warren claims Japanese heritage in bid for Asian-American vote after Yang departure

RENO — In an attempt to revive her dying presidential campaign, Sen. Elizabeth Warren made a pitch for Asian-American voters on Tuesday by revealing she is of Japanese descent following Andrew Yang’s decision to end his campaign.

“Konnichiwa,” Warren said to open a new campaign video, using a typical Japanese greeting. “I am Erizabeth Wallen, and I lun for plezident.”

Meanwhile, her campaign released a full DNA analysis proving that she was 1/1,008,975th Japanese, thereby allowing her to officially claim the Asian heritage, both for her campaign’s purposes and for when she applies for a law professor position after leaving politics so she can get favorable treatment.

“You know, as I know, I am best plezidential candidate in entire Democlat Pahty,” Warren continued in her video, as she implored Japanese-Americans to support the only woman of color remaining in the race.

“So, you vote me, not vote someone elrse,” Warren continued. “I make good plezident, you see. Bettah than Andlew.”

It wasn’t clear if Warren’s naked identity politics would be effective, but her campaign said she believes in what she’s doing, even if no one else does.

“She’s been here before,” said Cindy Ricks, Warren’s Nevada campaign manager. “She knows what it’s like to have people doubt who she is.”

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1 Comment

  1. Just when you thought you’ve heard it all. Maybe, today, she identifies as Japanese, but what /who will she be tomorrow? Do we really need a President with multiple personality disorder?

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