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Jeff Bezos pledges his entire fortune to fight claims he is secretly ‘Dr. Evil’

SEATTLE — Amazon founder Jeff Bezos said Wednesday he will spend as much of his billionaire fortune as he has to in order to convince people that he is not secretly “Dr. Evil.”

Bezos, who does admit to a striking resemblance to the mysterious global bad guy, said that at this point in his life, it’s vital that he begin working on his legacy.

“I have been very blessed in my life to have found a way to convince tens of millions of people to shop for and buy things online without ever having seen them or touched then,” Bezos said from his lair…er, HQ office, here.



Bezos did say there is something “sorta evil” about building a multibillion dollar corporation out of scratch, noting that the “American way” isn’t very fashionable anymore.

But, he said, “Come on. It’s not that evil. So how come I get confused with that other guy all the time? Plus, I’m willing to spend my entire fortune just to clear my name. That’s gotta count for something…right?”

For his part, the real Dr. Evil told us that he’s had problems of his own being confused with Bezos when he’s out plotting ways to take over the world.

“This Bezos clown is doing it the legitimate way, he’s just buying the world a piece at a time,” Dr. Evil said. “But I’m the guy who you really don’t want to mess with.”

Evil said the confusion between him and Bezos has gotten so bad he’s had to close his Amazon storefront because of all the unwanted attention.


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