LAS VEGAS — All remaining Democratic presidential contenders performed so poorly in the latest debate here Wednesday night that political experts believe the party won’t nominate anyone to face President Trump in November.
“F– it,” one exasperated Democratic strategist who asked not to be named said immediately after the debate ended.” They are all s–t. Everyone one of them.”
“I mean, Bernie Sanders is leading the race for the nomination?” the strategist continued. “He’s not even a Democrat!”
Another strategist who also requested anonymity so she could speak frankly agreed.
“Look, nobody on that stage tonight was convincing,” she said, shaking her head. “And Mike Bloomberg couldn’t even have gotten onto the stage without a box to stand on. And you’re gonna put that guy up against Trump? He’s a foot taller!”
Other analysts and strategists agreed that the party is, in the word’s of one, “a train wreck” this year.
“We’re a huge massive dumpster fire, man” another said. “I’m ashamed. I dunno. Maybe we can get Hillary to run again?”