Minnesota raises threat level to ‘high’ due to influx of Canadians seeking better baseball

MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. — Minnesota homeland security officials on Friday raised the state’s security threat level to “high” following a series of incidents involving Canadians attempting to break into the state in search of better baseball.

The order to raise the threat level came from Gov. Tim Walz as the MLB’s pre-season kicked off this week and he seeks to protect Minnesotans from from the “bad juju” and “loser mentality” that he believes Toronto Blue Jays fans are sure to bring with them.

“The Governor is well aware that the Minnesota Twins topped the American League Central last year and that the Blue Jays were, again, a distant fourth in the AL Central,” said Megan Lemond, Walz’s spokesperson.

“He knows the Blue Jays haven’t won their division since 2015 and that their fans are pretty much ready to jump on the Twins’ bandwagon because they’re so much better,” Lemond continued. “But come on. Our state can’t handle an influx of needy baseball fans.”

Plus, there’s always the danger that the Blue Jays’ losing ways will rub off on Twins fans, which will lead to bush league records for years to come, Lemond added, quoting state homeland security officials.

“The governor won’t tolerate that and neither will the people of Minnesota,” she said.

Asked why New York wasn’t raising its own threat level ahead of the new MLB season, Lemond said, “Come on. The Mets have played like the Blue Jays lately and no one outside of New York City likes the Yankees.”

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