ST. LOUIS — Sen. Bernie Sanders’ long love affair with Communism will come to an end upon hearing news that China was willing to make a new, permanent trade deal with President Trump.
“You know, our campaign has always been based on fooling American workers into believing that Communism is fair and equitable,” Sanders said in a statement ahead of Super Tuesday. “But with this Trump trade deal, China is making a mockery of our deceit!
“I felt betrayed after spending my honeymoon in Moscow during the Soviet era after Russia went sort of democratic in 1991,” he added. “Now that my second love, China, has made a Capitalist trade deal with Trump, there’s no way I can remain a loyal Commie.”
While praising the Chinese government’s continued authoritarianism and repression of speech and free thought as “the right way to govern,” Sanders went onto say that there is no place for a Donald Trump in Communist circles.
Still, Sanders left the door open to a revisiting of Communist ideology if he wins the White House. “And I would hope that on that day China will become a willing partner in a Sanders administration!”