Tooth Fairy indicted for making payouts using stolen funds

WATERLOO, Iowa — Federal officials arrested the Tooth Fairy late Wednesday night as she prepared to fly out of a suburban home after she left $5 in stolen money under the pillow of a three-year-old boy.

The fairy, a.k.a. Linda Wilson of Battle Creek, Mich., is suspected of paying for teeth for decades with money she embezzled from her husband’s family trust.

Federal authorities became suspicious after her husband, Michael Wilson, went to check on his stash of cash and instead found dozens of bags of very small, rotting teeth.

“This is a heinous crime, make no mistake about it,” FBI agent-in-charge Terrance McMillan said. “It’s bad enough that the Tooth Fairy turns out to be a thief, but to involve so many youngsters in her crime wave is simply unforgivable.”

McMillan said it wasn’t clear whether all of the kids she implicated over the years are in on the scheme with her, but he said, “You can bet my agents are going to be taking a very close look at each one of them.”

In particular, McMillan said he planned to interview a number of mostly toothless adult suspects whom he believes intentionally pulled their teeth in order to get kickbacks from Fairy Wilson.

Asked what sort of impact jailing the Tooth Fairy would have on the nation’s children, McMillan was reflective.

“It’s hard to see your idols fall so hard like this,” McMillan said. “But I’ve always thought you shouldn’t have to lose your teeth to make a buck anyway.”

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