Biden says as president he’ll fill in the Grand Canyon to make it easier to get to Vegas

FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Newly minted Democratic presidential frontrunner Joe Biden said Friday if he wins the White House in November he will sign an executive action “on the first day” ordering the Grand Canyon to be filled so Americans can get to Las Vegas faster.

“This will be a priority for my administration and, frankly, something I tried to get my good friend President Obama to do when I was his second-in-command,” Biden said at a news conference.

“It’s something that we, as a country, should have done a long time ago, and frankly, I don’t have any confidence that the current administration is going to do anything about it,” he continued. “Donald Trump couldn’t care less about gamblers. He’s a gamblist and he has been all of his life.”

While Biden acknowledged that filling in the Grand Canyon would take “a really, really long time and, I guess, a bunch of dirt, too,” he is confident he can get the job done in his first term.

Told that air travel made his project seem dated and obsolete, that Americans seeking to travel there could just take a commercial jet, Biden’s response was, “What’s ‘air travel?’ A ‘jet?'”

A Fox News reporter pointed out that all Biden would be doing is filling up one Grand Canyon and then creating another, which drew boos from the assembled media crews and resulted in the Fox News correspondent being ejected from the news conference.

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