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Study finds exercise does not improve health if you don’t do any

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A new study by researchers at Harvard University has found that exercise programs don’t do much to improve health and extend life if they’re not utilized.

Dr. Dan Bacon, lead researcher at the institution’s Center for Health Excellence, said many Americans are under the mistaken belief that by simply joining a gym or downloading a fitness app will automatically lead to better fitness.

“That’s simply not the case,” Dr. Bacon said. “Just because you see your gym membership auto-deducted from your bank account every month does not translate into actual fitness progress. You kinda have to actually get in your car and go to the gym, where, you know, you use the equipment.”

The same is true with fitness apps, Bacon said.

“You can download ’em, sure — and a lot of people do,” he said. “But then, you know, you really need to perform the exercise routines in the apps them if you want to see any results.”

“Fat people don’t get like that unless they actually put a lot of food in their mouths,” Bacon noted further. “The same principle for fitness applies, according to our research. In nearly every case, people who don’t workout won’t get fit.”

Asked what he would recommend for people with gym memberships they’ve never used, Bacon said it all depended on personal goals and objectives.

“If you don’t mind making pointless payments every month, I’ve got some beachfront property in Colorado I’d sure sell,” he said.

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