Trump adds Dubuque, Iowa to travel ban list after getting a bad haircut there

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump is expanding his travel ban list again, adding the city of Dubuque, Iowa, after a local barber “butchered” his trademark coif.

“Just look at this, will you? Just look at this,” the president said from the Oval Office as he prepared to sign the order. “Let me tell this much, I will never, ever go back to Dubuque again, I will assure you of that, and neither will any American as long as I’m president.

“No one deserves to have their hair victimized like this, no one,” the president continued, clearly agitated. “You people in Iowa, you’ve got a real problem in Dubuque, a real problem you have there.”

Normally, the president takes his barber with him, but he decided to make a last-minute campaign stop in Iowa as he overflew the state and wanted to look extra sharp before his rally. However, after his session at Marvin’s Cut-N-Dry, his campaign abruptly canceled the event.

Asked whether he’ll campaign at all in Iowa during the 2020 cycle, Trump said he and “his people” are evaluating that.

“We’re not sure, we’re just not sure,” he told reporters. “I guess a lot of it depends on whether I can fix this…this ridiculous hairstyle. I mean, the state only has a half-dozen electoral votes. I’m asking myself now, over and over, I’m asking myself after this haircut, are they worth it?”

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