GREENBELT, Md. — Deep space officials at NASA were shocked when a star probe the agency sent into a massive black hole 40 years ago suddenly showed up this week in Detroit.
Frank Conners, chief of NASA’s Department of Black Holes, told reporters the agency lost track of the spacecraft years ago and never expected to see it again.
“But you know, it was designed to ferret out black holes and reveal them to us, so it makes sense that it landed where it did,” he said. “Honestly though, we were expected it to come back through East St. Louis. These things are just so hard to predict.”
Conners said a special Air Force SWAT team swooped in under cover of darkness to recover the craft, which he said was still mostly intact.
Asked what kind of evidence the star probe brought back with it, Conners looked dejected.
“We have a few good R&B tunes on the tracks, but most of it is disco. And that stuff went out years ago,” he said. “So that is an indication the spacecraft was probably heavily damaged long ago, which explains why we lost track of it.
“Obviously, it was for the best,” Conners continued.