Biden names 12-year-old ‘tweener as his ‘running mate in waiting’

WASHINGTON — Democratic president contender Joe Biden said today he has named a young ‘tweener girl as his “running mate in waiting,” claiming he’ll need the extra companionship if he wins the White House.

Biden did not release the name of the young lady’s name, but his campaign did hand out a photo of the ceremony showing him moving in for a close-up.

“She’s a ball of fire, she’s really something,” a giddy Biden exclaimed. “She’s got so much energy and I’ll need that if I’m going to make a real go of this president thing.

“I know I said I would name a woman as my real running mate and I’m gonna do that, but I just think it’s important to have a back-up plan,” the former VP said.

Asked about the appearance of having such an inexperienced non-adult in his office alone at times, Biden brushed away concerns.

“Whoever makes the wrong implication here is a dog-faced pony soldier!” the former VP and Democratic frontrunner exclaimed. “Anyone who knows me knows I’m just a very friendly guy who happens to enjoy the company of pre-teens. Nothing to see here!”

Biden said the tweener will also have official duties such as accompanying him to formal events and drawing his bath water.

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