MOSCOW, ID. — Researchers at the University of Idaho have discovered that for Americans with nasty body odor, it is much easier for them to adhere to current social distancing rules.
“For some Americans, social distancing rules put in place due to the virus outbreak are difficult to follow because they are just naturally affectionate and drawn to crowds,” said Dr. Anthony Sparkle, head of the university’s School of Human Physiology.
“But people with bad BO are social outcasts anyway, and as such, our research shows they have a much easier time maintaining social distancing rules,” he continued. “It’s as if no one really wants to be around them anyway.”
Sparkle noted that, as in the past before the new rules were put in place, people who are disgustingly smelly will continue to congregate with others who also smell of body odor.
But that’s not because they want to be rebellious but rather because such people are generally lonely anyway.
“It’s not going to be hard for them to stay away from regular folks because the regular folks will avoid them like — dare I say it? — the plague,” Sparkle continued. “That’s because our research has found that in nearly every case, bad BO makes you far less likely to assemble.”