US News

Mexican cartel makes huge miscalculation at border, digs smuggling tunnel to Montana

BROADUS — U.S. Border Patrol officials said they were stunned to discover that a group of Mexican cartel members attempting to elude capture seriously miscalculated and dug a tunnel spanning several states.

“It looks to me like these guys made a wrong turn,” Thad Crocker, a USBP sector chief, said. “I mean, in the past, they’ve been off by a couple hundred feet here or there, but to wind up in Montana, well, that’s a huge error.

“It could be they’re just overachievers, but I don’t know if that’s accurate,” Crocker continued. “If they were just trying to show off or something, they would have stopped digging in Utah or Wyoming, popped up out of the ground and said something like, ‘See? See? Fooled you!;

“So I’m just of the opinion these guys weren’t the sharpest pencils in the box,” he continued. “I think they really believed they were somewhere in Arizona.”

Asked how long he thought it took to build the tunnel, Crocker said it had to have taken years.

“Which begs the question: Who keeps digging for that long? I have only one answer: Morons,” he said. “These guys are either the worst smugglers in the world, or they are eternally optimistic, I’m not sure which.”

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