NEW YORK — Major League Baseball officials have decided all teams will play the entire 2020 season under the protection of a sealed glass dome in the middle of Wyoming.
“We’ve thought long and hard about how to both protect our players from this outbreak and ensure the fans get to see professional baseball this year,” said MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred. “There won’t be anyone in the stadium but the players, but you know, sometimes fans can get rowdy anyway.
“Will it be a challenge — logistically and otherwise — to move all 30 teams to the middle of nowhere and play every game there? Of course,” he continued. “But Wyoming officials have been accommodating and gracious, and we’ll have a new glass dome to keep us safe.
“This will also give our players a return to some sense of normalcy,” Manfred added. “Psychologists say that’s important for both players and for fans. So we’re all about normalcy, that’s for sure. And MLB games will give fans something to think about instead of trying to figure out what the best time is to be at the local Walmart when the stockers are putting out new supplies of toilet paper.”
Asked how he believes players will adjust to the new digs, Manfred sounded a note of confidence.
“I think they’re going to do just fine,” he said. “Heck, every game’s gonna be a home game, for both teams!”