(Washington, D.C.) The White House announced today that President Joe Biden should silence critics who are concerned about his mental capacity after he successfully identified a bus two out of three times during a cognitive exam.
“The American people can relax: The president’s mental status and acuity is certainly good enough,” Dr. Sarah Clarkson, the White House physician, said after administering the exam. “I can say with a degree of confidence I did not have beforehand that the president was certainly able to perform the function that I asked of him, even if it took a bit longer than normal.”
White House officials say they plan to post a short video of the exam to the official social media accounts in a bid to be transparent.
“I know this test was a long time coming,” Clarkson, an M.D., continued, “but now that he’s managed to pass this exam, there shouldn’t be nearly as many questions about his cognitive abilities as there were.
“Of course, I’m aware that the test results won’t satisfy everyone, but they should put the rumors to rest that the president can’t identify mass transportation vehicles when he sees them,” Clarkson continued. “Also, no, Dr. Jill Biden was not in the room assisting him when he took the test, as the video being posted online will prove.”
White House officials had no further comment.
