(KNOXVILLE, Tenn.) A millennial man who spent five minutes looking through the LinkedIn profiles of several of his friends said he’s still depressed several weeks later.
Ashton Cooper says that while he thought he was doing pretty well in his professional life as an assistant manager for a local electronics store chain, he realized that his friends and associates were in much better financial shape and had already progressed further in their careers.
“I hate to use the term ‘loser,’ but when I saw how much better my bros were doing than me, I don’t know what other term fits,” Cooper said. “It was a real gut punch to realize that, hey, I’m not such hot shit at all.
“One guy was an idiot who worked for tech support not long ago but now he’s got his own consulting firm, at least according to his profile. So he’s gotta be raking in the big bucks,” Cooper continued. “Then again, his profile pick looks like it was taken in his bedroom at his parents’ house, so who knows?
“Another dude’s profile said he’s got some high-end job at NASA, but that guy couldn’t even spell ‘NASA’ when we were in high school. So how did he get into Harvard, and how did he get a space-related gig? But he can’t get away with lying about it on LinkedIn — can he?” Cooper said.
It’s not clear if his depression has gotten any better in recent days or if he asked his store manager for a raise.
