(CAPITOL HILL) President Volodymyr Zelensky’s country lost its biggest congressional ally this week after Sen. Mitch McConnell announced he was stepping down as head of Senate Republicans.
“It is with great sympathy that we hear Sen. McConnell will be stepping down as a leader in the American Congress,”Zelensky told local reporters. “He was most definitely one of our biggest — how do you say, leaders of the cheer, cheerleaders — in the U.S. government.
“The people of Ukraine depended on him to help deliver billions of American tax dollars to our cause, much of which, of course, had to be siphoned off to, shall we say, compensate various officials in my county so that our efforts against the Russian invader could continue,” he noted further.
“I believe you Americans call that ‘greasing the wheel that is squeaking’ or something similar,” Zelensky noted further. “Whatever, though, Sen. McConnell was instrumental in supplying the grease. Now, we are not certain about our future. There are few other countries, especially in Europe, who are, let us say ‘unaware enough’ about our history of corruption, to give their tax dollars to us.”
McConnell said he planned to serve out his current term, but several America First Republicans were clear they weren’t fans of him sticking around. One said: “He can just go now. Maybe he can get a flat cheap in Kyiv.”
