(DETROIT, Mich.) Officials with Dodge announced they will be adding big-block V8 hemi engines to their 2024 electric vehicle line-up so that they will sell.
“We believe in a greener, cleaner future as long as we turn a profit,” CEO Tim Kuniskis said. “And what better way to achieve that than by embracing the timeless elegance of oil and gas? It’s like wearing a polyester suit to a vegan potluck – a bold fashion statement that no one expected but everyone secretly admires. Maybe Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez doesn’t get that, but the muscle car community does.”
“When customers start that EV-powered V8, it’s like conducting a full orchestra with a single turn of the key,” he added. “The engine’s roar is a symphony of unrestrained power, a declaration to the world that they’re not just driving – they’re orchestrating a masterpiece of combustion and unapologetic excess. It’s like having a rock concert under the hood, and they’re the lead guitarist.”
“Yeah, I get the whole ‘gotta go green’ stuff, and we at Dodge are on board with that,” Kuniskis continued. “But we are also a business and let’s face it — if these new Challengers and Chargers are gonna sell, we’re gonna have to put in a big ol’ V8 alongside that monster battery. These cars will be twice as heavy, so we’ve got to have that big motor when that battery dies after 50 miles.”
