(DECATUR, Ill.) A local man stunned his friends and family when he told them point-blank that he no longer feels “fitness-challenged” but rather straight-up “fat.”
“It’s true,” Glenn Bishop, 33, said. “I’m fat. There’s no other way to say it. No need to dress it up in pretty language or use words that have no real meaning other than to hide what is so obvious to anyone who’s being honest.
“I know that for the longest time I had no problem using the flowery language to describe my current physical condition, but all that did was delay my self-realization and serve as a running joke among my friends and acquaintances behind my back,” Bishop added.
Asked what he intends to do now that he’s owned up to his physique, Bishop was very quick to respond.
“Well, nothing, of course. They say the first step toward solving your problem is admitting you have one. So that should be sufficient in my view,” he said before hurrying off for his third lunch of the day.
