(WASHINGTON) White House officials noted that President Biden has been fitted with a special new sippy cup to avoid further “drinking problems” in public.
“We put this off as long as we could, but honestly, his drinking problems were getting worse by the day, and he was ruining a lot of suits,” an insider noted after Oval Office guests spotted the cup. “We didn’t figure we could keep this secret forever, but it had to be done.
“The president was at a state dinner the other night for the leader of a significant U.S. ally, and I’ll be damned if he didn’t miss his mouth three or four times and spill his wine all over the place,” the source continued. “Really embarrassing stuff. So the word came down from the first lady – ‘Get this done and get it done now.’ So naturally, we did. She’s really the one in charge, you know.”
Asked for details about the highly sophisticated ‘sipper’ device, the source refused to divulge any details.
“OK, now we’re getting into national security stuff, and I ain’t gonna touch that,” the source revealed. “Suffice to say, it’s highly advanced and there’s no other sippy cup like it.”
