(COCOA BEACH, Fla.) Officials at the Boeing Corp. are apologizing profusely after another Carnival Cruise Line ship built by the company caught fire.
“I want to apologize to the passengers and crew of the Princess Mandy,” Boeing CEO Dave Calhoun told reporters after the burning ship sailed into harbor and quickly offloaded frightened passengers. “I really thought we had this problem figured out but…ha ha…I guess not.”
“We’ve definitely had a string of bad luck in recent months, what with doors and wheels falling off our airplanes,” Calhoun continued, “but I could have sworn our cruise ship issues were fixed. You can rest assured I’ll be on the phone here as soon as this press conference is finished, demanding answers from our Cruise Ship Division Manager, Scotty McDougal. And he ought to know that yeah, his job is definitely on the line.
“It won’t be, shall I say, smooth sailing for him for a while. And if I can use another appropriate phrase, he’s a man overboard right now and I’m not gonna throw him a lifeline,” Calhoun quipped, smiling at his own puns.
Calhoun refused to speculate on the quality and safety of Boeing’s skyscraper, bridge, and nuclear power plant divisions, however.
