(Shreveport, La.) House Speaker Mike Johnson has stopped pretending he was a conservative Republican and just decided to admit he’s really been a Democrat all along.
“Look, I tried to hide it as long as I could, but when this latest spending bill contained all kinds of money for pet projects like teaching LGBTQ philosophy to Ukrainians and drag shows for kids as young as 1 year old, I just had to let it move forward,” Johnson said.
“I know all Democrats voted for it, but not all Republicans, and I guess that’s what finally gave it away — I’m really for the party in blue, and I am happy now that I can admit it freely,” he added. “I’m not really that interested in really important stuff like border security, drilling for oil and gas on American soil, and bringing down inflation. All of that is so 2016. I’ve evolved far beyond that.”
When asked if this meant that he would continue to do Democrats’ bidding in the House even though Republicans are in the majority, he responded enthusiastically: “Oh, absolutely! For sure!”
“I mean, I’ll probably be formally switching parties after my little ‘coming out’ speech here. That will get me more White House invites so I can shoot the shit with President Biden more often. Really looking forward to that,” he noted.
