(Washington, D.C.) The Biden administration is proposing a nationwide change to the way prisoners are executed: Shun the old methods and force the condemned to listen to word salad speeches from Vice President Kamala Harris.
“Granted, there are those who don’t think this is a more humane way to carry out sentences for the condemned, and we certainly understand that,” White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said. “We’ve all…we’ve all…all heard the vice president speak. It can certainly be brutal at times.
“But the more the president’s advisers thought about it, the more they came to the conclusion that the condemned might just do themselves in after maybe 10, 15 minutes of listening to the vice president’s ‘greatest hits,’ so to speak. That would…would at least, you know, take the burden off state officials, and it is a method of execution that we believe will hold up in court,” she added.
“Of course, some could also consider that cruel and unusual punishment too,” she finally admitted. “So we’ll have to see. Maybe we’ll just save this recommendation for the really awful offenders — like people who voted for Trump.”
