(Albany, N.Y.) Gov. Kathy Hochul authorized the construction of a wall around the state of New York to prevent disillusioned and cash-strapped taxpayers from leaving.
“It is the objective of this administration to maintain the economic viability of this state, and as long as I am governor, I aim to do just that by any means possible,” Hochul said in signing the decree.
“There are other ways—the right ways—to leave New York, but if you want to leave just because you’re a stingy a-hole, then that’s not gonna happen,” she vowed. “We’re going to make you stick around and pay your fair share. You’re not gonna slither out of here like some Fox News star in the middle of the night.”
When asked what the approved ways of leaving New York are now under the new edict, Hochul said she was still working those out with the Democratic supermajority in the state Assembly.
“We’ll let residents know when the time is right and not a moment sooner,” she said. “Meanwhile, if you were thinking of leaving our great state and taking your money and possessions with you, think again.”
