(Seattle, Wash.) A young self-described Democratic socialist is now beginning to question whether she’d have a much more active love life if she wasn’t such an annoying prude.
“I’m beginning to have my suspicions that my radical behavior may be tied to my inability to keep a steady man in my life,” Rachel Yonkers, 26, said with a heavy sigh. “I suppose I could dial back the left-wing outrage protests somewhat, but I’m not sure if I want to trade having meaning in my life with being able to get off once in a while.
“I definitely miss the getting off part, though,” she readily admitted. “And right now, I could use a lot of that.”
Asked if screaming at police and setting private property on fire is replacing her desire for a loving, stable relationship, Yonkers was introspective.
“You know, that’s very possible. I like yelling at cops and destroying someone’s lifetime financial investment, knowing insurance won’t make up the difference. But I like being cuddled once in a while, too,” she said. “I’ve got some soul-searching to do.”
