(El Paso, Texas) Bending to Republican pressure, the Biden administration has implemented a new policy requiring illegal migrants from Mexico to have to sing for their meals in traditional clothing.
“Republicans have been harping on this administration to get tougher at the border, and we have done that at the president’s direction,” Department of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas told reporters. “We were trying to mix in tough border enforcement with a compassionate approach, and we believe this new policy fits that objective.”
One reporter asked what would happen if an illegal migrant could not carry a tune in a basket and arrived at the border in rags.
“We’ve thought of that,” Mayorkas responded. “Full singing lessons as well as traditional Mexican outfits will be arranged for any migrant in need of them, so that Americans will get the best bang for their tax dollar. We don’t want any, shall we say, less talented migrants to suffer such embarrassment.”
“That wouldn’t be humane,” he noted.
