In a development that stunned diplomats and real estate agents alike, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu agreed Monday to a U.S.-brokered peace plan for Gaza after former President Donald Trump vowed to christen a proposed settlement “Mar-a-Lago West.”
According to sources present at the meeting, Netanyahu initially balked at the terms of the agreement—until Trump produced a mocked-up brochure featuring artist renderings of “luxury villas with commanding views of strategic choke points” and “the finest golden façades this side of Palm Beach.”
“Israelis deserve peace, Palestinians deserve peace, and frankly, I deserve a beachfront resort where my face is on every bathrobe,” Trump declared, holding up a monogrammed sample towel. “This is going to be the greatest peace plan ever—everyone’s talking about it, everyone wants in. Even Hamas asked about the timeshare options.”
The White House press pool reported that negotiations took a dramatic turn when Trump insisted on naming rights for several checkpoints and infrastructure projects, including the “Ivanka Peace Tunnel,” the “Eric Border Fence,” and a luxury casino tentatively titled “The Jared Kushner Center for Diplomacy and Blackjack.”
Critics say the deal may face obstacles in the Knesset, with some members concerned that Gaza residents will be forced into a loyalty program where “peace points” can only be redeemed at Trump-branded properties.
