HOLLYWOOD—After years of speculation, 20th Century Studios confirmed Monday that the long-awaited second Simpsons movie will debut in 2027 as a 14-hour cinematic “mega-event” comprised almost entirely of flashbacks to the show’s first dozen seasons.
Producers insist the marathon film, which will run continuously from noon until 2 a.m. with no bathroom breaks, is “the only way to do justice to the golden age of The Simpsons.”
“People don’t want new jokes, they want to remember old ones, over and over, in Dolby surround sound,” said showrunner Al Jean while unveiling a trailer that was just the Stonecutters episode replayed at half-speed. “We’ve condensed the best 250 episodes into a single continuous flashback montage, occasionally interrupted by Homer gasping, ‘Remember when…?’”
Studio insiders revealed that the runtime was originally 36 hours, but executives cut it down after test audiences slipped into comas around the Season 5 material. Still, the 14-hour cut will reportedly include:
- A full hour dedicated to Ralph Wiggum eating paste in various contexts.
- The monorail song performed 27 times in different languages.
- Bart writing 4,000 chalkboard gags in real time.
- Every single Mr. Burns “Excellent” stitched together into a haunting ASMR segment.
Tickets will come with a government-mandated medical waiver, and AMC Theatres announced they will install IV drip stations so fans can survive Act 3, in which Lisa summarizes the show’s entire run using a PowerPoint deck.
