BALTIMORE—In a revelation that has sparked outrage among patient advocacy groups, a new report finds that many physicians harbor bias against severely obese patients, with some doctors admitting they can’t help but pass judgment when lab work comes back showing elevated cholesterol, high blood sugar, and, in rare cases, “visible flecks of Hidden Valley Ranch.”

“Look, I know we’re supposed to treat everyone with compassion,” said Dr. Alan Meyers, a cardiologist interviewed for the study. “But when I draw blood and it smells faintly of Buffalo Wild Wings, it’s hard not to form an opinion.”

The 87-page study documented numerous examples of medical discrimination, from scales that automatically display the message ‘Seek Help’ to MRI machines refusing to cooperate without extra coaxing and Crisco. Researchers noted that bias often intensified whenever patients admitted to putting bacon bits on salad “to make it healthier.”

Patients, however, say the stigma is worse than the diagnosis.

“My doctor told me my BMI was ‘one bucket of KFC short of catastrophic,’” one participant reported. “Then he asked if I wanted him to ‘supersize my prescription.’”

Hospitals nationwide have promised reforms, including new training programs to eliminate judgmental sighs, as well as blood panels capable of filtering out trace amounts of ranch, queso, and Velveeta.

Despite the controversy, some doctors remained defiant. “I’ll stop making snap judgments,” said Dr. Meyers, “the day someone’s lipid profile doesn’t come back with French fry grease fingerprints on it.”

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