WASHINGTON, D.C. — Declaring that “the era of taxpayer-funded crying is over,” President Donald Trump announced Wednesday that the first casualties of the ongoing government shutdown will be what he described as “Democrat agencies,” beginning with the Department of Feelings and Pronouns.
“These are agencies nobody ever voted for, nobody ever wanted, and frankly nobody even knew existed,” Trump said from the White House briefing room, flanked by two MAGA hats and a cardboard cutout of Vice President J.D. Vance. “They spend billions every year on therapy llamas, safe spaces, and endless training sessions to figure out whether to call somebody a ‘they’ or a ‘ze.’ Not anymore. We’re saving America’s money and America’s manhood.”
According to Trump, additional Democrat-run bureaucracies under review include the Bureau of Virtue Signaling, the Office of Gender Unicorns, and the National Endowment for TikTok Dances.
Democratic leaders Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries quickly condemned the remarks, insisting the Department of Feelings and Pronouns plays a vital role in “protecting democracy from mean tweets.”
