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San Fran residents weary of dodging feces on the street thank Mayor Breed for ordering them to shelter-in-place over COVID

SAN FRANCISCO — Thousands of San Fran residents took to social media to offer an outpouring of support for Mayor London Breed after she ordered them to shelter-in-place over coronavirus, with many thankful they now no longer have to dodge piles of pooh and other biohazards.

“I feel so blessed not just for the virus but to have such a wonderful leader in Mayor Breed,” tweeted a user named “Stacy C.” “Without #COVID19, I’d be dodging doo-doo down in the Haight! Mayor Breed rocks!”

Another user, “Timothy Q-Man,” tweeted, “Yo #MayorBreed much love and huge THANK YOU for the reprieve! I been lookin’ for a way to avoid that treacherous #poohpooh trip into work 4-ever. You made it happen!”

One user named “Jessica” also noted that she had stepped in ‘it’ so many times she was going broke just buying new shoes.

“#MayorBreed you just saved me thousands on new footwear which I plan to spend on furthering my education so I can #shelterinplace for good!” the user wrote. “#MayorBreedForPresident!!”

Meanwhile, several homeless people in camps scattered around the near-empty city could be seen packing up and leaving. Said one scraggly man, “Heck, ain’t gonna no fun anymore takin’ dumps on the sidewalk if I can’t watch someone step it in,” he said. “That mayor, she just took away my main purpose in life.”

The mayor said her shelter-in-place order would last as long as it took to eradicate the virus or figure out a way to keep people off the streets permanently.

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