STOCKHOLM — Climate activist Greta Thunberg said she’s surprised she may have contracted coronavirus after discovering most people didn’t really like her and have been avoiding contact.
“Really, I’m surprised I may have been sickened by this novel bug,” she told reporters from an isolation room at her home. “I can’t recall any time since my outburst at the United Nations several months ago, where I tried to shame everyone living on the planet into giving up their modern lifestyles, when too many people have wanted to be around me.
“So that just tells me, of course, that this bug is virulent, very contagious, and potent like the experts have claimed,” she continued. “How else could I be sickened?
“If coronavirus can find and infect me, a person who’s become a global social outcast, then it can certainly find other people who have, like, friends and stuff.”
Thunberg was undaunted, however, in her quest to continue accusing anyone who eats meat, has a home, drives a vehicle, and uses electricity of “destroying my world.”
“How dare you!?” she demanded.