“It’s one of the big political mysteries of our time.”
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“But facts are facts. And the facts say Donald Trump is guilty of the crime of winning the presidency.”
“I was merely trying to suggest successful economic policies that would quickly turn things around to help the president at the polls.”
“Even if I won’t ever see any of y’all again, I don’t want anyone talking bad about me for years to come.”
“I hate to be ungrateful or complain, but it sounded an awful lot like nothin’ but political pandering to me.”
“Look, I’m happy to talk about this subject because I think it’s important to get the truth out there.”
“We aren’t making any statements about President Biden’s health or mental status, though I think we certainly could.”
“We researched the other argument thoroughly, but we just couldn’t find the logic in it.”
“She’s had her chance and it’s just true, Americans don’t like her much.”
“The entire objective is to allow his political opponents an advantage.”
“I am calling for a full congressional investigation.”
“I don’t understand why everyone, especially Republicans, are making such a big deal out of that bridge collapse. It’s pathetic.”
“It’s super helpful knowing ahead of time where he’ll land.”
“Frankly, we thought of this a long time ago, but we had to wait for the stock to go public.”
“I didn’t know how I was ever going to pay that card off after I racked up so much debt.”
“I suppose I could dial back the left-wing outrage protests somewhat.”
“Shareholders were excited to learn that we wouldn’t be making planes that could lose doors in mid-flight.”
“Because our side is so compassionate, caring, inclusive, and free of hate and bigotry, we have the moral standing.”
“I envisioned buying my toddlers their first Happy Meals, but now I’m not sure.”
“You’re not gonna slither out of here like some Fox News star in the middle of the night.”
“We’re leaders in the country in terms of making wealthy corporations pay their fair share.”