News Second ‘Simpsons Movie’ Will Be 14 Hours Long, Covering Seasons 1 Through 12 as FlashbacksBy Sandra D
News Netanyahu Signs U.S. Peace Plan for Gaza After Trump Promises to Name a Settlement ‘Mar-a-Lago West’By Sandra D
News Giuliani Settles With Dominion Over $1.2B Lawsuit — Whoever Guesses Correct Amount Gets Lump-Sum Or 30-Year PayoutBy Sandra D
News Trump To Reassure Military Leaders He Knows How War Works After ‘Watching Two Documentaries’By Sandra D
News Starbucks Closing Hundreds Of Stores After Realizing No One Actually Likes Paying $7 For ShitwaterBy Frank B
News Eric Adams Drops Out Of Mayoral Race After Learning Socialism Includes Free Rent And KaleBy Frank B
News Kathy Griffin Reminds Jimmy Kimmel It’s OK To Not Be Funny: ‘I’ve Been Doing It My Whole Life’By Frank B
News Trump Preemptively Shuts Down Government To Free Up Weekend For Golf, Unlimited Diet CokeBy Frank B
News Trump to Resolve Shutdown By Assigning Each Laid-Off Federal Worker Side Hustle With Uber EatsBy Sandra D
News Antifa Shocks Nation by Merging With ICE, Citing Desire to “Control Our Turf” by Removing IllegalsBy Frank B
News Justice Dept. Sues States For Voter Lists, Admits It Just Wants To See Funny Middle NamesBy Sandra D
News Republicans Slam Democrats for ‘Reverse Racism’ After Refusing to Spend Taxpayer Money on AmericansBy Frank B
