BETHANY BEACH, DEL. — Democrats and animal rights activists were outraged to discover the Trump administration is allowing federal officials to actually separate immigrant baby seals from their mommies and daddies and put them in cages. The Department of Animal Recovery’s Sea Life Division came under fire this week after agents were photographed placing a recovered baby immigrant seal in a cage. When questioned, agents said they were merely following protocol. But Democrats blasted the Trump administration over what they said was blatant seal abuse, as well as cruelty that was simply uncalled for. “There is nothing this president won’t…
Author: Sandra D
MANCHESTER, N.H. — Buoyed by a record-breaking turnout of Republican voters, President Donald Trump has been declared the winner of the New Hampshire Democratic primary. While Sen. Bernie Sanders is claiming he actually won the contest by a slight margin over Pete Buttigieg, Democratic Party officials in the state had to concede the contest to Trump instead. “I get it, Bernie feels like he’s being screwed again, and frankly, I can’t disagree,” Charles Watkins, head of the Granite State’s Democrats said Wednesday after more than 95 percent of precincts reported. “But look, there’s no way we can award the Democratic…
NASHUA, N.H. — Social media giant Twitter on Tuesday banned 2020 Democratic presidential contender Pete Buttigieg for a tweet in which he voiced approval for heterosexual relationships. According to a statement from the company, Buttigieg’s account was locked, then deleted, after he wrote, “As a presidential contender, I support heterosexual couples. Yeah, Mayor Pete says It’s okay to be straight!” Twitter officials said it was obvious that the only openly gay Democrat running for the party’s nomination was trying to be flippant and hurtful of LGBTQ people. “We at Twitter feel that it’s important that the platform is open, inclusive,…
ATLANTA — Several 2020 Democratic presidential contenders are pushing plans to fight “climate change,” but a new survey from Gallup has found it’s not something most voters are concerned with. According to the survey, released Tuesday, Americans’ No. 1 concern is the economy, a finding that certainly gives President Trump an advantage. When told to list of the most important issues to them, voters listed ‘climate change’ at near the bottom. “Getting and staying drunk all weekend,” came in high — No. 4 — followed by “Pornhub,” trying to guess who “The Masked Singer” is,” and “Attending PTA meetings.” ‘Climate…
ROCHESTER, Minn. — Surgeons at the Mayo Clinic on Monday did emergency surgery on 2020 presidential contender Bernie Sanders to remove a corn cob that had been stuck up his backside for decades, and saw instant improvement in his bearing and conduct. Doctors said they first noticed that Sanders, who is sitting atop the Democratic nomination list, was suffering from a condition known as “corncobotitis” as he campaigned in Iowa last month. They reached out to the Sanders campaign and made contact, suggesting that the removal procedure was absolutely necessary if the candidate hoped to have any shot at all…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Fresh off reports that Democrats in California are planning to pass legislation preventing state workers from staying in his hotels, President Trump on Monday shrugged it off with a startling announcement. “Those Democrats in California have been out-of-their-minds mad at me since I beat Crooked Hillary in 2016, that I can tell you,” the president told reporters at the White House. “So now they don’t want to let their state workers stay in my hotels? It’s spite, pure spite. That’s all it is. Nothing but spite.” Trump then said in a few months the new Trump hotel…
GREENLEAF, WI — Dairy cows throughout the upper midwest pushed back against comments made by actor Joaquin Phoenix at the Academy Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday, telling him his comments are detrimental to their livelihood. “I think we’ve become very disconnected from the natural world. … We feel entitled to artificially inseminate a cow, and then we take her baby. … Then we take her milk and put it in our coffee and our cereal,” Phoenix said as he accepted the Best Actor award for the movie “Joker.” That comment didn’t sit well in this corner of dairy country. “He…
LOS ANGELES — Amid the glitz and glitter of the 92nd Annual Academy Awards show Sunday, House Democratic impeachment managers lamented that they didn’t win the coveted “Best Political Fiction” category. “Thought we were a shoo-in this year,” Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) tweeted after the award was given to his California colleague, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who won for her ongoing claim that Democrats were going to win the presidency this year, “I would have to agree, my friend,” co-manager Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.) responded on the social media platform. “I thought our impeachment of @POTUS was a lock for…
AUSTIN — Police managed to thwart an unusual hijacking attempt on Sunday when they managed to corner a group of cows that had escaped from a local farm and were believed to be headed to Ottawa. The group of cows had escaped from a local Texas range about 12 hours earlier, but ranch owner Ted Gibbons told authorities he had no idea where the missing bovines were headed. Travelers at Gate 27B on Concourse C noted the small group of cows sneaking up to a parked airliner in a sinister manner when one of them called police. The Austin PD…
GREEN GRASS, S.D. — Sue Running Bear was inundated with mainstream media news crews as she awoke to do chores Sunday morning after an artificial intelligence (A.I.) program picked her to win the 2020 presidential race. A.I. model program Maggie, a market research and predictive tool from Symtec Strategies in Baltimore, analyzed recent Democratic presidential debates and speeches by President Trump to determine that Running Bear was the most likely winner in November. “Honestly, I’m shocked,” the 41-year-old Cheyenne and mother of three told reporters as she fed her horses and prepared to get her children ready for school. “I…
NASHUA, N.H. — Resigned to the fact that she’s not going to be the 2020 Democratic nominee, Sen. Elizabeth Warren shunned her disdain for money in politics on Sunday ahead of this state’s primaries and asked billionaire presidential competitor Michael Bloomberg for enough money to purchase the vice presidency. “You know, this isn’t something I normally do and this is so out of character for me,” Warren told reporters ahead of the primary voting this week. “But the fate of the country is too important to leave to President Trump or these other Democrats. “I’ve got to do what I’ve…
CAPE CANAVERAL, FLA — Expressing her ongoing concern that the planet continues to warm to unsustainable temperatures due to human activity, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez proposed a new plan to lower global temperatures while on tour at the nation’s space launch facility. “I’ve been, like, really giving this a lot of thought,” the New York Democratic socialist began, “and I totally think it’s doable. We could, like, put some really big air conditioners in space, all around the planet, and that would finally do the trick.” AOC said her idea is nothing special and she voiced some surprise that other, much…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Frequent Trump critic Sen. Mazie Hirono was incensed over a threat from the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency this week to deport her back to Sweden. Hirono, appearing on MSNBC, said she’s worked hard for years developing a persona as a native Hawaiian and would find it difficult, if not impossible, to reconnect with her Swedish roots. “First of all, let me just say I think it’s an abomination for ICE to even bring this up publicly,” Hirono complained. “As far as most people know, I’m Hawaiian and always have been. “But you know, that’s just par…
CHICAGO — Former President Barack Obama on Friday voiced his displeasure at having been passed over for a Medal of Freedom by his predecessor after doing everything he could to keep Trump out of the White House and save him the headaches of being leader of the free world. “I launched ‘Spygate,’ I authorized FBI Director Comey to leak damaging information on Donald Trump, I empowered my entire intelligence community to come up with a fake dossier,” Obama said from the site of his new presidential library, which is still mired in litigation. “I did everything I could to try…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Ever since President Trump came into office, he’s never kept a single dime in salary, having donated each paycheck to a federal agency. That’s unprecedented, but as a billionaire businessman prior to running for office, Trump told Americans he wasn’t doing this for the money. Democrats don’t like it when anyone but them makes money, so they took the president to court and claimed that he was being paid “emoluments” by kings and foreign powers and such because they were actually charged for the Trump hotel rooms they stayed in. Seems like a federal court agrees. A three-judge…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Frustrated by their inability to remove President Trump from office via impeachment, top Democrats said Friday they will try another tactic to get him out of office: Impeach the 63 million voters who elected him in 2016 and continue to support him. “Trump is a threat to America,” former House impeachment co-manager Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.) said. “But he has been enabled by tens of millions of Americans who simply can’t figure that out. So it’s become clear to us that they are the ones who have to go.” Getting rid of the president’s voters, added Rep. Adam…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Fox News host and personality Laura Ingraham said on her Wednesday night program that she would run for Sen. Mitt Romney’s seat after he was the only Republican who voted to convict President Trump, and that she would prepare by actually stabbing people in the back. Ingraham, in a diatribe against Romney to open her show, called Romney, of Utah, “selfish” and “preening.” “Utah’s junior senator reminded us of why he couldn’t connect with most regular, working-class people,” Ingraham said in the opening monologue of her primetime show. “They don’t like politicians who claim to be holier than…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After failing in their attempt to remove him from office, Democrats said Thursday they plan to re-impeach President Trump over his refusal to cure cancer. “It’s an outrage that this president has done so much for this country but can’t do the one thing Americans really want,” said House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-Md.) “We’ve given President Trump three years — how much more time does he need to cure this debilitating disease?” Hoyer added. The House leader said lawmakers have been demanding documents from the White House related to any work the administration has done in…
Following widespread problems with a voting app in the nation’s opening presidential caucuses in Iowa, embarrassed Democratic National Committee officials declared Wednesday they want to just name party nominees from here on out. “All of this voting, this ‘democracy,’ it really is a messy thing,” said DNC official Sarah Klinesmith. “And frankly, it’s outdated,” she continued. “It worked okay for our founders, but times have changed and even they didn’t trust voters because they made an electoral college.” Democratic Party leaders became frustrated earlier this week after a voting app designed by party insiders with the Hillary Clinton and Barack…
In a fit of rage following President Trump’s State of the Union Address Tuesday, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi tore up a copy he gave her then claimed the speech never happened. Asked about her actions as she filed out of the House chamber, the California Democrat said, “I wanted to make sure that Americans could never, ever see or hear such lies!” When pressed by reporters that the president had already given the speech to a live national audience, Pelosi insisted that he hadn’t. “Nuh-uh,” she said. “No he didn’t. I tore it up. You saw that. Everyone saw that.…
DES MOINES — The Iowa Democrat Party is blaming its inability to produce timely election results from the Monday caucuses on “Trump-Russia collusion,” claiming the White House and Moscow teamed up to engage in “election meddling.” The allegations came as the state party scrambled to figure out what happened to a voting app as well as the telephone system at party headquarters. “Dad blame it, I knew this was gonna happen,” declared Dick Burbia, the caucus manager for the state party. “We got some intel a couple days ago from some insiders in the Trump campaign that the president and…